Here are 5 issues related to male suicide to consider after reading this perspective:
I'm sorry to hear that in the author’s circles, no one is talking about male suicide. NAMI, for example, has a post from 2018, and this article (https://bcmj.org/articles/silent-epidemic-male-suicide) from 2011 addresses the "silent epidemic" of male suicide. These are two of the top Google results - this is a decades-old conversation.
That does not mean we have talked about it well enough. Here are five points to consider:
1) The *silent* epidemic: As many other commenters have noted, men often keep silent instead of sharing their problems. This is likely a huge contribution. This is not to blame men - men are often taught not to share, to "stay strong" and to not confess to "weakness".
MEN - and anyone else - but here we're talking about MEN - PLEASE reach out. And please reach out to your male friends - we must support ALL people in society.
In New Zealand, we have a reasonably well-known men's mental health advocate called The Barter Barber. He drives around in a van/monster barbershop, cutting men's hair, and using that space in the barber's chair to discuss mental health and suicide. If you want to learn about or support him, you can here: https://www.facebook.com/TheBarterBarber.
There are also specific initiatives to reach farmers in NZ, most of whom are fairly isolated men. You have to reach out directly to the population (meaning, men who are suffering) with targeted approaches that are specific to them.
2) Men often don't reach out to other men. I have tried to help my male friends so many times, but sometimes, you need a man's approach for a man. (Just as many people of other genders, including women and NB or GF want to hear from people of their gender identity).
Men's groups are a wonderful support for men, but they are very rare, in my experience. I have often asked my male friends to volunteer to support men in their communities, but few do.
Few men take action. Many men have said they see a "stigma" associated with volunteering. "Men are supposed to make money." (See the next point.)
Statistically, women volunteer more than men. This has to change.
3) The "helping professions", like social workers or counselors, are often paid poorly (some very much so).
Men are often taught they need to be the "bread winner", and that having a high salary is a critical part of masculinity. I remember hearing some relatively famous, rich guy say he would be "embarrassed" if he brought home less than $400k a year.
That's quite a message to send out there in the world.
If men who are suicidal need support from other men as well as visibility of men in the mental health sphere, but the "helping professions" like social workers and community organizers are paid less, then we will not have enough men to support men in a professional capacity.
When the people who "help" when someone is suicidal are often women, the perception of gender division and the lack of visibility for men suffering from suicidality is exacerbated.
4) Men are more violent than women overall: The author has somehow concluded that men are somehow better at killing themselves on a "biological level", but this is a distortion of the statistics.
Men are more likely to express their aggression through physical violence, in general.
This doesn't mean other genders aren't aggressive. Women, for example, are also known to be aggressive, but are less likely to enact it physically.
Some estimates are that men enact physical violence 3 times as much as women.
There's no reason to think, then, that men might be more physically aggressive towards themselves when attempting to take their lives than women are.
Whether this is biological or other factors is a different discussion, but men aren't just "better" (weird word, but the OP's) at committing violence towards themselves, but towards others as well.
5) There is a historical tendency that continues in some forms today (some would say it is still ubiquitous) to see women as having emotional problems and men as more staunch and reliable.
If we, as a society, generally think that men are "more capable" of managing emotions, and women are that "crazy [choose expletive]" who can't control her feelings, then we as a society are going to focus more on women's issues with suicidality than with men's.
That's a massive problem. In different words:
Our focus usually stems from subconscious beliefs, often unexamined on an societal level.
We can see how this presents in so many aspects of society - why Black homeownership has lagged in the United States, why health outcomes for Māori are below those of other NZ ethnicities, why women still don't earn as much as men.
There is a subconscious societal belief that women are just not as mentally stable as men.
Until we shake that belief, it's going to be hard to have balanced conversations about suicidality across genders.
We often focus on problems for reasons completely hidden from our conscious minds. If men's emotions are believed to be "not as big of an issue" as women's, then we would see more public discourse about issues related to women's emotions.
And we do.
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Also, the OP's stats on male vs. women suicide stats are not correct.
In the US, men are about 4x as likely to commit suicide as women.
In Australia, the estimate as 3x as likely.
These statistics and conversations are ongoing with professional organizations around the world and it's worth it to check in and report official stats.
Interesting how the likelihood of men dying by suicide is somewhat similar to men's overall increased tendency in acting out physical violence.
Makes you wonder if they might be related.
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That's 5 ways why this post overlooks important aspects of the male suicide rate.
I'm not an expert on men's suicide, or how non-binary people deal with suicide, or how suicidality affects people of a particular ethnicity or age.
I didn't wake up today or start this comment intending to write a post about men's suicide.
I write for anyone and everyone who is suicidal or experiencing suicidality. Because people who suffer from wanting to end their lives deserve someone who writes for them.
I'll write for you.
